Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
