i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
