The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
