I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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