i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize