They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
