Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
