I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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