Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
