highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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