By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
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