dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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