holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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