If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
