i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize