Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
