I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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