went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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