god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
