I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
