Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
His nipple licking is glorious
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