I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
