"it" just moved
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."