marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
