I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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