you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
