You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
