Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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