I think im going to throw up on grandma
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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