I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
