I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
