apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
