Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize