Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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