Moan for me like Helen Keller
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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