just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
