you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
