Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
