I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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