so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
