sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
