i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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