As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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