The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
