you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
