Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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