so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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