SEEEEXXX PLEASE
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
