i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
