I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
