She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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