I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
