That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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