I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
