If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
