at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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