I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
