About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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