I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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