come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Sober January is a disaster.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize