I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
