if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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