Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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