Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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