Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize