I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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