I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
